yesterday was pretty much filled up with the memorial for Jake. i'm really glad that i was able to be there.
i'll probably write more about them in time, but they were a really incredible person, and i'm grateful to have known them and learned all that i did from them.
Avery talked at the memorial about how Jake's life was for a lot of people a sort of demonstration that it was possible to live truly far outside the bounds of the ordinary, and that resonated deeply with me, but… they could live that way until they couldn't, and i'm so angry that society does not have space for people like them.
(xpost from my arenablog)
weddings are just tramua bonding for cishet ppl
btw it's possible for two different things to be correct but the combination of them to be incorrect. jsyk
computers are machines that were put on earth by the devil himself to punish humans for their hubris
queering the stwong/stronk binary
nothing quite like the whiplash of buying a tarot deck and immediately getting asked "would you like to sign up for our loyalty program today?"
u ever think about how bees use polar coordinates?
in a stunning moment of clarity i was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that the tattoo i most want is a line drawing of the frog riding a snail meme
signature as meditation
you ever see a design studio website where you're like is this the kind of design studio where everyone's fucking each other?
reading https://www.color.org/faqs.xalter and feeling myself slowly untethering from reality
man riso printing is kinda expensive… but so pretty…
something titled "soft body physics" but it's just porn
first fireflies of summer
i wonder if ███ ever read my are.na
i have never done anything serious in my entire life
there's a transhumanism/transhumance pun somewhere but i'm too lazy to find it
michael pollan is a policy failure
they/it ??? could be
read my thoughts.page with a screenreader and i am SPOOKED
had my first psychic reading today, and i'm gonna be honest, it was underwhelming
the thing i always forget about nyc is that the density of cute people is just totally off the charts
a little brain damage, as a treat
i think i've gotten worse at being in love but better at being a partner
fucked up that so many people aren't in nyc tbh
"platform" is a category error
fucked up that the mch supermarket is better than a lot of rural supermarkets i've been to
"fleet" vs "flock"
did personal websites kill zines? uh oh
forklift traffic jam
today i am thankful for the breeze
i'm high so i made a dumb pun on twitter which has by a bizarre but inexplicably explainable chain of events resulted in me needing to update the version of nixos i'm using
nostalgia for futures no longer possible
they should have thinkpad stores like they do apple stores
extremely funny that the buzzfeed comments section is actually based as hell
people must attach airtags to their dogs, huh
the vibes here are so weird i have to be dreaming (i am not)
and if i can't manage awe i can at least get a laugh out of the fact that the place i have a unexpected transfer in my new itinerary is called "weener"
taking good advice from the parenting book i read a few days ago about trying to turn anger in awe. works pretty well!
well, transfer five of six got fucked up, hooray hooray
hamburg review: seems like a perfectly fine place (there is a nice anarchist squat) but it is really hard for anything to balance out how absolutely inhumane the train station is
transfer one of six: miraculously not fucked up
scrarched off a terf sticker. every little bit counts.
so my "haha let's just book everything at the last minute and not plan anything" has finally bitten me and i now have a absolutely hellish itinerary for the next like 30 hours BUT on the other hand i now get a surprise day in copenhagen AND a surprise day in hamburg so there's that!
OH: "i'm so happy just to be on a train"
me too, lady. me too.
got on the bus literally one minute before it left. hell yeah
i really wish i could take anarchist writing on medium dot com seriously :/
(to be clear, this is a me problem)
i've got my complaints about oslo but it is nice to be in a place where you can just order a dark n stormy
i miss 7-11 onigiri 😭😭😭
who needs adhd meds when you can just think about [redacted] to fill yourself with enough rage to get things done 😇
real fact: trader joe's used to do 2% of its sales in ammunition until jfk was assassinated
ebook imprint page telling me it's published on acid-free 100% postconsumer recycled paper
dot your i's, cross your t's, circle your a's
i wrote a thing that i think is Good but maybe is Bad and i have received no feedback on it of any kind and it is Stressful
i think i will feel ready to be part of society again soon
i want to live in a city where you can lie down anywhere and take a nap
made myself Unhappy !
purposefully trying to subvert a expectation is just as much letting your life be governed by it as uncritically following it is
i refused to mark a train signal as a "traffic light" and now recaptcha is punishing me :(
i should collect units that have the same name but different meanings in different countries. there's the whole chi/foot thing, and apparently there is a "scandinavian mile" which is currently 10km but has been different things as well :p
fucked up that the word "rest" comes from the meaning "remainder" — what you do after you've done everything else. rest should come first, imo
"but that's neither here nor there" i say about something that is DEFINITELY here or there
weird day to be a panpsychist
sun after the rain >>>>>>>>>>
this ode shit seems easy tbh
i am going to learn how to write a ode. a real one, not the fake kind where you go "an ode to _____" and then write a fucking blog post
people should write more good books instead of mostly writing bad books
norwegian is a very silly language in general but høydemeter is a very good word
getting some excellent gossip from the table across from mine
LIS airport review: great for arrivals, sucks ass for departures
i love lists so much, and also drugs
people have such bad taste in bookstores
this atm line is poppin
beauty is seeing the world for what it is
i really like asking good questions
i sorta wish i was the kind of person who could get really into open data
not sure i'd be able to date someone who isn't on signal
aerial view is extremely underrated
locks clocks & maps
reading nearly any travel blogging/advice is so completely alienating to me
i just googled "what year is it" if you're wondering how i'm doing
big couldashouldawoulda sort of day :)
haven't been keeping up with my face goop
should've brought my fingerless gloves for better hacking in the cold
they should standardize sleeping bags so you can zip a bunch of them together into one big cuddly sleeping pouch
emfcamp is fun since i can wear all black and wander around with a thinkpad open and a club mate and that's just totally normal non-weirdo behaviour
being in england is funny since everyone sounds like they're doing a bit but they're not they all just sound like that
it's fucked up that clouds look so soft and cozy but are actually just cold and wet
holy crap, people in the usa just do not understand how to exist in a society
i has been 0️⃣ days since a cafe last played a song that my ex used to listen to all the time
i let everyone who asked to touch my hair this weekend do it, that's personal growth to me
chapstick pocket space to usefulness ratio is off the charts
attunement is when a conversation is an immersive experience.
to have an immersive conversation, focus not on the other person or on yourself, but on the connection between you, as you would in dance.
been feeling pretty bad about myself lately but here are a few things that people have told me are good about me recently:
a stranger in the teahouse told me i have a really nice voice (i was speaking in a low & quiet voice, which i found funny for a few reasons that i can't elaborate on here)
everyone appreciated me waking up early and doing all the dishes
█████ told me she appreciated how good i am at putting my thoughts and feelings into words
going to start telling people that homeopathy is scientifically proven to work (because the placebo effect is real)
thinking about doing a bit where i say i'm going to tell a joke then keep saying funny things but when people laugh i'll be like "no, no, that's not the joke that's just stuff you have to know for the joke to make sense"
nb suffragette mashup flag when
one of my glasses nosepads fell off and literally my second thought when i noticed was "oh fuck it would be so embarrassing if people saw this and thought i was trying to imitate edward snowden"
i love how the portland streetcars say "doors to my right"
thinking about death & fame
i think probably a lot of fatphobia is just body horror associated with the idea of one's body changing at all
i love it when i'm reading a sort of obscure book and it references another sort of obscure book that i've read. so good
the will to change book review: read turn this world inside out instead
"minor outlying islands" is a pretty diminutive name huh
san francisco is a suburb that has to constantly contort itself into the shape of a city
i'm just always taken aback by how cis/het normative bell hooks is every time i read her
so many people recommend bell hooks and then you actually read her and she's all "one of the first revolutionary acts of visionary feminism must be to restore maleness and masculinity as an ethical biological category" like uhhhhhh
barbershop shave verdict: not in any sense worth it, but it was nice to have someone gently touch my face
my blog is now the #1 google hit for "how to pirate books" so that's cool i guess
libraries are really good
open loop feelings
i am on a airplane!
it's pretty bullshit that the usa got all the fucked up parts of english common law but not the right to wander
i guess i'm leaving taipei? for now
we have reached the "frantically shoving everything into suitcases" stage of packing
losing it that the french government tld is .gouv.fr
fondly remembering when i convinced half a dozen people to ford a river with me completely spontaneously
i don't think i've been myself in a long time
finding lots of new and exciting ways to stress myself out!
I DID NOT BUDGET ENOUGH TIME FOR HAVING FEELINGS IN THIS PACKING/MOVING/TRAVEL PROCESS!
"sorry, do you speak english?"
yes but i'm completely useless at actually helping 😇
just learned about vrchat transing people and this is based af
just clicked a button that paid me $13 and reduced my stress levels by like 30%
extremely disappointed that ao3 doesn't have anything on the closer from bojack s3e7
folks,,,,, i'm tired
gearing up to divorce my parakeet
moving logistics is 90% managing Feelings
gotta say it's extremely weird when people assume that art always closely reflects / is a metaphor for how the artist feels
i have really good opinions and everyone should love me because of that
i love the shadow of you that exists only in my mind
i keep on wanting to make a arena channel called "this sucks" where i put things that suck but that's very mean so i'm not going to do it.
might touch up my own undercut for literally no reason
once a sre, always a sre
truly a curse
caused some commotion at 7-11 today
the knockoff thinkpad battery i bought came pre-swollen, hell yeah
screenshots as collage
pro tip: it is very rarely a good idea to be honest when filling out customs forms
there are a lot of people
i have no opinion on the book itself but i gotta say the reviews of this are quite something
i am a human person
if people don't make spreadsheets about a video game it's probably not worth playing
(if i felt like being snarky i'd say the bus chiptune jingle was better than the noise show i was taking the bus to but tbh it's a pretty reasonable noise show)
the bus i'm on plays a lil chiptune jingle whenever someone presses the stop button :)
if you work with computers your goal should probably be to destroy as much value as possible
huh i didn't realize that tumblr is called tumblr because of _why
i've been playing a lot of roguelikes recently and lemme tell you none of them are very much like Rogue (1980)
looking at the actual logistics for my travel and realizing that i may have made some terrible mistakes
so it turns out the stanley parable is... not that good? idk maybe you had to play it a decade ago or something :/
"walking on eggshells" is a funny metaphor since crushing eggshells is actually extremely satisfying irl
it's fucked up how i can clean up my apartment once and then i have to do it all over again a few weeks later
people talk about living every day like it's their last, but really i feel like it's better to live every day as though you'll live forever
the internet: it's bad, folks
telling someone "this is all part of my performance art project" while i'm fucking them
was about to apologize for being idiosyncratic in my communications platforms but y'know what? i'm actually not sorry at all i have extremely good taste and people need to deal with that
waking up early is so good. fucked around on the internet, went to a cafe and worked for a bit, went to the park and read next to a bunch of butterflies, went to a mediterranean restaurant for lunch, and it's somehow only 4pm???
human culture peaked with dat boi in 2016. i will not be taking further questions, thank you
there are some good unicode characters out there
pretty fucked up that cafes and restaurants that are clearly fronts are some of the best out there
telling someone i have a crush on them because i am too lazy and tired to deal with any tension at all. classic wesley move
i want a girl with a short attention span and a looooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnggggg reading list
i have some real banger tweets on my alt
thinking about when i watched mulholland drive and fell asleep partway through and woke up and was like wtf how did i miss so much of this???? and then i looked at the summary an was like oh huh i was actually probably only asleep for like five minutes or something
i forgot to pay my phone bill so they turned my data off and i just paid it and honestly? it was way better when my phone didn't have the internet on it!
i think i got myself a new crush??? very exciting
i am so excited for emfcamp!! it's gonna be so good!
happy to announce that i am back on my bullshit
rain sounds are good
(hmmm it's actually not as good as i remember but i appreciate it anyway)
fuck yeah the cherry blossom sodas are back at my 7-11!!! they're so good!!!
today's mood: getting extremely mad at html compressing multiples spaces into one by default destroying so much expressive potential on the web
a quote that i think about every so often:
Everyone thinks that the essence of pedagogy is in psychology, but it's not. The essence of pedagogy is in ethics.
— Simon Soloveychik
someone should make a musical instrument that is harder for a musician to play than for someone untrained
it is almost 10pm and i am extremely tired but you know what ? im going to get drunk anyways, because i love myself
being a normie is a radical act
hmmm i should get back to being cool & sexy on thoughts.page instead of talking about what a mess i am, probably
my life may be a huge mess,, but .... ... uh
finally got around to turning my phone back on, instant regret
i should probably uh talk to a person or something
i had a dream about meeting a semi-famous person who i do not know, so i unfollowed them on twitter. seems like the right thing to do.
turned off my phone & lost track of time for ... 2 days? 3 days? a week?
time to, uh, catch up on everything i missed i guess ?
who invented plates?? what a scam
"i'm not a programmer, i don't want that kind of complexity in my life"
— the dude in this factorio playthrough i'm watching lying to himself
i have wasted like 12 hours of my life at this point on a bad game that i think was made by a literal child. i am addicted. pls send help
god i fucking hate idle games. they get me every time
ok hear me out, lead makeup might have been a bad idea, but it must've been really effective sunscreen right??
every mp3 player should also be a field recorder/synth/daw
always fucks me up that xiaonanmen is a roundabout
bike along the seashore
18NT tea egg review: acab
someone just described me as a bard due to my sexting so im gonna take that as a w
finally learned the chinese characters for caffeine, and tbh it was better when i didn't know that all the fruit teas actually have caffeine in them >.<
cursed realization: pocari sweat smells like ketoacidosis
my mess is such a life
me: gets booster shot
also me: WHY am i so tired ,, WHAT THE FUCK
i think i want to make a physical trinket to represent every project i'm working on. then i can carry around the ones i'm really active on, have some of the others spread out on my desk, stick them in a shoebox in the back of my closet when i'm done with them, etc etc
thinking more about the puzzles in patrick's parabox, one kinda fun category of puzzle sort of feels like a trust fall, where there's only one or two things you can do, and they both seem like they clearly can't work, but each time you do one there's a clear next step until eventually you're just like, oh fuck i get it.
like a puzzle as a sort of magic trick, where the game is just like "hey watch this" but makes you be the one to actually do the magic
oh, you wanted to authentically express yourself? yeah, we've got a microtransaction for that
the problem with watching streamers is that i cant put them on 3x speed :/
do you think it's weird to email someone and ask if they want to be your intellectual nemesis?
everything is just so deeply fucked, huh
i really want someone to make a cross between patricks parabox and sokyokuban. it would be so bad but also so good
pointing at things and falling in love
patricks parabox is funny because there are some parts of it that would be so good to play while on acid but overall it would just completely reck me
but like, the part where you run around inside your own avatar and it recurses infinitely? that would be SO GOOD
feeling sad about how inaccessible creativity can be
ooookkkkkk its possible i may be completely crashing now
always nice when i tell someone how old i am and they don't completely freak out
i think i am actually going to be able to roll over my fucked up sleep schedule today! very exciting
i think im really funny
love being a disgusting lil freak
not having any of your friends know each other seems pretty underrated tbh
running into every anarchist space i can find and screaming "READ TYRANNY OF STRUCTURELESSNESS BY JO FREEMAN"
today on "i've been pampered by the taipei mrt" i was very annoyed that i missed my train because someone was being extremely rude by blocking the escalator, and i had to wait a entire minute and thirty seconds for the next train
losing my mind ~~~
learned some incorrect facts in my dreams today. i also saw a beautiful sunset, though, so it seems worth it :)
proposal: we should slow down the revolution of the earth, so that my sleep schedule can properly match the length of the day
honestly sorta hard to believe that this is the first time i've pulled the epic lifehack of staying out so late the the mrt opens just in order to take me home
flashback to a dream from like a year ago, wow
(my train just arrived, exactly when the countdown sign said it would. still mad tho)
i occasionally catch myself being like "i have to wait EIGHT WHOLE MINUTES for my train?"
and then i remember the nyc subway and cry
synergy verdict: not enough dancing, too many people pointing their phones at the stage
maybe if there is enough making out at the afterparty it'll redeem itself tho
i should clarify that dayraves are cool & good, but if ur putting on a dayrave you gotta say that's what it is!
especially annoying since the set that's most interesting to me is at 2:30pm but like. i'm not going to go to a electronic show at 2:30pm. i'm just not
ok so i bought tickets for synergy before i knew much about it and i just looked at the start time today and it's 2pm? who starts a electronic music event at 2pm?? and ends it at 10pm???? i am extremely confused
i know i write this here nearly every single time i get drunk, but: wow, being drunk is real good!
somebody should make benzos but like, have them not be extremely addictive. free idea right there
maybe i didn't get into the cult i applied for? i thought it was a sure thing 🤔
did u know that im really cute & sexy? just a fun lil fact
gonna go have a mediocre burrito at the mediocre burrito spot
anyway i'm feeling good so it's time to destroy that by checks notes watching jake paul videos in preparation to record a drama podcast tomorrow
slowly cooking up a piping hot fresh new ideology in the ol' Ideology Lab
lots of good Brain Thoughts but nowhere to put them :(((
update: it is Going Well
folks,, i'm doing "Performance Art"
i miss doing drugs
gonna try to dye it purple before synergy i think so everyone there will know how cool & sexy i am
economics is a category error
i'd rather tilt at different windmills
a couple excellent askmefi links from today:
foodpanda will occasionally, seemingly randomly, stop accepting any of my cards for a day or two, then start again without me changing anything, and it turns out i'm exactly like a rat in a skinner box :|
having a lot of Feelings these days
thinking about ███████ and honestly i'm still pretty mad about how everything went down! i definitely made some mistakes, but ugh, that did not have to be nearly as messy as it was
ugh i really need to go start a cult
made myself sad :)
protest is a sort of prayer
gonna become the most annoying person in the world to movie nerds by being all like "oh the term 'film' is a misnomer now, everything is digital these days" whenever they insist on calling movies "films"
had a dream where my dad mentioned he was looking at my thoughts.page and sharing the particularly funny ones with his coworkers
transcripts should stretch the text if someone's talking real quick
so i don't forget it: my definition of gen z is that you're a zoomer if you can commit an act of psychological violence by telling someone what year you were born in
nothing like hamilton ktv to remind you of the totality of american hegemony
i keep on going to parties i know are gonna be full of lesbians and then being surprised when they're full of lesbians 🙃
heard a aimyon song playing and thought it sounded like illuminati hotties, i think my brain might be broken?
all i want is to live somewhere with the density of a real city, but in a forest. this isn't that hard! c'mon!
love how all the websites about how you shouldn't mix melatonin and alcohol list dangerous side effects like "passing out" and "suddenly falling asleep"
buddy, whaddya think i'm trying to do??
realizing that building things makes me feel optimistic and unsure how to feel about that
why do i feel like shit??? it's an exciting mystery!
wtf just saw someone from bumble on the train
i highly recommend mistaking a piece of food stuck in a crevice in your teeth for a cavity, just for the euphoric feeling of relief you get when you manage to scrape it away
learning to live with my brainworms
"spell unnecessarily close enough to correctly that spellcheck even has an idea of what the fuck you're talking about" challenge
i haunt my own mind, and always will
saw someone on the train with a flip smartphone today. weird future we're living in.
tech hippies planning burns are all like "oh i love serendipity, would never want to kill the vibe by planning too much" and then everyone looks at each other and someone has to be the one to be like "ok but we all do want a spreadsheet, right?" and everyone is like "yes please of course thank god"
anki deck of tarot card meanings
i want to make a tool for doing federated annotations but the problem is that will attract literally the most annoying people in the world
it is extremely funny to me that NFTs got turned into something essentially fungible for the exact same reason and via nearly the same process that warhol's work did
there are a lot of people who take me seriously, but don't take the way i think about the world seriously, and i really don't know how to respond to that
i realize now that i miss ████'s blank grey walls. strange to say, but it's true
antiperformative theory of crushes
sorta funny that google translates both Киев and Kиїв to Kyiv
sometimes i accidentally parse [[wiki links]] as triple parens and it fucks me up a lil
anyway it's time to write some HOT TAKES on the INTERNET and then go to a PARTY to GET DRUNK
"why worry so much about ideology? just live your life!"
— someone who has literally never noticed that many popular ideologies are fundamentally centered around murdering specific types of people
sometimes i think i should write less about tech and more about things that are actually interesting, and then i read """philosophy""" written by people who mostly write about tech and i'm like, uh maybe we should stay in our lane actually
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
i think i need to go back to nyc and i really hate that about myself
lmao i just saw the whole chobani solarpunk ad that i only saw gifs of before and it's so distopic i'd assume it was a joke if i didn't know better
a really niche pet peeve of mine is when there are news articles about a company's store/office in a specific location that i've been to but then they use a photo of that store/office in a different place instead
i like making friends on the internet. but. i also like making out with my friends.
it's a hard life
new sarah z video is… not actually good :/
it's pretty amazing that i haven't bought a switch yet, given that there's a store that sells them on my block between my apartment and the mrt station
me: drinks a bunch of caffeine and takes stimulants and barely eats
also me: why do i feel anxious?? ridiculous
if you're REALLY such a descriptivist, why are you saying descriptivism is better than prescriptivism, huh?
prescriptivism is good, actually
thinking about turning heel (getting really into authoritarian high modernism)
oh my god i just saw a clip of someone going "archive of our own? what's that?" just before clicking on a entire page of rpf about them and it felt exactly like watching a horror movie
pretty sure i've hit my quota of personal mythologizing for, uh, the next like 6 months at least. maybe year.
i honestly have no fucking clue what elden ring is
just learned that on average my name is searched on google more than once per day and i really don't know what to think about that
i had a really good day today, despite the creeping feeling of dread floating all around me !
getting a new v3 every time you go to the gym is exactly the sweet spot of sucking so much that you grow super quickly and it feels amazing
i miss you <3
nonfiction : stimulants :: fiction : ???
i feel like psychedelics are the easiest answer but that's not quite right imo
weird fuckin dreams today
i wonder how many years ive got left before hanging out in cafes full of students makes me seem like a creep
icymi here are the three movies you need to see in order to understand all of Politics
sometimes i think of a tweet making fun of allbirds or whatever and i need to remind myself that no one gives a fuck
got a emf ticket! who knows what the fuck the world will be in june but maybe i'll be able to hang out with some cute nerds in a field?
developing some Opinions
literally playing a song that my last ex made a cover of for me when we first started dating
this cafe playlist is exactly my last two exs' taste 🤐
i wish i could teach people how to notice ideology. i feel like i'm really good at it and most people i meet are pretty bad about it but i don't know what i'm doing that helps me notice?
back to V3s tho, i'm happy about that!
jeez i didn't go climbing for like three weeks and my muscles just instantly disappeared
everything is really funny all the sudden and i don't know why
prediction: time will continue to drag on
this ambient track has a hum in the background that sounds like my laptop fan and it's fucking me up
can't believe i used to be a light mode person. fucked up.
pretty fucked up that reddit ate infogami and not the other way around
reality and dreams blending together. love it.
slowly losing my mind rn, it's great ✌️
ideology for sale, never used
when i lived in brooklyn and felt restless and couldn't sleep at like 4am i'd sometimes bike all the way up to inwood park and back. need to figure out where that is in taipei.
thinkpiece complaining about websites all looking the same, written on substack, shared on twitter by bluechecks with tens of thousands of followers
maybe my worst opinion is that ready player one is an ok book
someone should do a book of authors/academics who did a bunch of good work while taking way too many amphetamines and then suddenly went off the deep end. because uh. there are a lot of them.
researching defunct blogging platforms for, uh, some reason, and apparently xanga.com has managed to cling on to life? and at least a couple people were posting on it as of last year? wow
rainy neon city
computers arent real
[bane voice] you merely adopted the cloud. i was born in it.
new bill wurtz tho, that's good
luv 2 spiral ꩜
wait discord just… doesn't notify you when you get removed from a server? wtf?
just contemplated shaving my head because i'm too lazy to take a shower so uh that's how my life's going
i thought of something funny while i was drifting off to sleep and it made me laugh which woke me up but waking up made me forget what it was and now i'm sad :(
we've got like 5 years max until the millennial/zoomer techno-utopianism nostalgia starts kicking in
they sure keep making new pokémon, huh
i want to reiterate that this is a completely serious offer, please do actually reach out if you want to do a fake podcast as Art
time keeps passing and it's honestly terrifying
i think what i like most about writing assembly is that it maybe feels the most "personal" of any type of code? like, it's just you and the machine and you have a lot of freedom to organize things in whatever way makes you happy, choose your own calling conventions, be as idiosyncratic as you want. it's really different from modern languages in that regard.
i want to read more of other people's assembly, i feel like that'd be an interesting window into how people think.
65816 assembly actually kinda sucks it turns out? the 8bit/16bit modeswitching is just really jankily bolted onto what's otherwise a really beautiful system
wow methylphenidate is very obviously serotonergic, somehow i wasn't expecting that? in general i really hate when people talk about, like "dopamine hits" or "oxytocin" or whatever to medicalize their subjective experiences but at this point i have enough experience with serotonergic drugs to be able to actually recognize a lot of things that are clearly serotonergic in nature, and it's really interesting
time to take some stimulants!
it's funny how being a foreigner makes being a weirdo easier in some ways and harder in others. like, in the us i know exactly how i'm a freak and am pretty comfortable with that, whereas here it's harder to tell, which is freeing in some ways but stifling in others
so anyway instead of doing any one of the half dozen urgent things i've been putting off all week i spent today learning 65816 assembly and the snes architecture...
thinking about getting super into snes romhacking
anyway if anyone wants to be my cohost for a podcast that we record and then edit and then throw into a volcano never to be heard by a human soul hmu
i should have a podcast not so that anyone listens to it but just so i can have an outlet to get whatever deranged internet shit i saw this week out of my brain
keep thinking about moving back to nyc but then i look at how it has more covid cases per week than taiwan has had ever and uh
it's really annoying when i switch between projects to remember which ones are Professional projects where i start the commit messages with uppercase letters and which ones are Art projects where i can be hot & commit in all lowercase
the people at the table next to me are having a very spirited discussion about bdsm in three different languages at once and i'm very sad that i can only really follow one of them :(
spent all day in ssh today, which is a sort of travel
thinking about the ambien wife guy
thinking about how that fully automated book almost could've convinced me that asteroid mining made sense if only they hadn't also written about vegan mayo
wtf how did i not know that ursula k le guin did a translation of the tao te ching?
i want a query language that's good enough that no one has to build an interface ever again
three different times today i've scrolled all the way to the bottom of a really good are.na channel and found a website that i made and lemme tell you it's a real good feeling
one of the things that makes feeds so rough is that people are really bad at anticipating what things will be like out of context. you can enjoy all of the individual things that make up the feed, but once they're all jumbled together and stripped of context, the aggregate is almost always worse than any of the individual things that made it
you can tell a lot about somebody's personality & mood from how they write their html
tfw you see a cult and you're like "i could run this better"
beginning to think that writing may be a doomed medium for what i want to accomplish. perhaps performance art may fare better?
pretty sure i feel the same way about booktube as boomers feel about streaming
anyway last night's dreams were good despite being weird and upsetting at times. highlights include:
██████ building me a scavenger hunt
impromptu long distance bike trip
big group discussion about philosophy that was actually productive
fell asleep and read some tweets i wrote in a dream and honestly they're pretty good? surprising
trying to write about how i aim for "lightness" in everything i do, and about how i'm frustrated that it's felt hard to access lightness in writing recently, and… trying to write about that just immediately pulled in a bunch of ideas and concepts that i feel like i have to write about, and the whole thing just gets tangled up
beginning to suspect i may have missed my bus back home :(
taking the hsr! it's so good! electric trains are great!
going to visit a lighthouse today!
smooth face mode activated
it's probably time to shave my beard
today feels expansive
successfully avoided going on a rant about rationalists today, please clap
a wallet is a pretty strange object, philosophically speaking
got a new body wash and i smell v nice now ^^
someone should make a taxonomy of all the different kinds of "Tweets & replies" cringe
got up before 10am and it's still dark out before i even noticed, unfair :(
"im not trans! im not trans!!", i continue to insist as i slowly install vseeface and transform into a vtuber
firewood cafe is moving, very sad :'(
(ok did the thing to fix the stress, now sleep time)
managed to inflict a truly massive amount of stress on myself from an absolutely tiny thing, hell yeah
lmao i tried putting on the sleep with me podcast and it extremely backfired this is some of the funniest shit i've ever heard i feel like i'm high
(oh and btw if melatonin is a placebo please don't go and ruin it for me thx)
not gonna make the mistake this time! i have taken A SHOWER and some MELATONIN and i am going to GO to BED
every day at 3am i'm like "i can totally wrap around my sleep schedule it's gonna be fine" and then every day at 11am i'm like uh wait actually maybe i can't
ugh a great idea came to me in a dream and now i have to do it before i forget
thought shepherd? thought herder?
boy, all i did today was Have Feelings
"never cut towards yourself" is the abstinence only of knife safety
did u know that i'm really cute & clever ?
pretty sure being in a unmanaged forest is the closest i've come to a religious experience
crepe place update: it didn't close it just moved! even closer to me!!
thinking about joining another cult just to see what it's like on the inside
i wonder if 無 as a gender is a thing
should go to sleep, but there are a bajillion things i want to do
so instead i will stay awake and do none of them ☺️
pretty sure that the recurring nightmare i've had most frequently at this point is that i'm travelling internationally but didn't think about or properly do quarantine
(i haven't had it that often, i just don't often have recurring dreams in general)
CHVRCHES is good biking through taipei music
thought for a good 30 minutes there that i lost my birth certificate and social security card
i really wish it was easier for me to trust fiction
starting to think that anything that shows a "subscriber count" or similar by default is bad technology that should not exist.
thinking about becoming a paper notebook person again
keep having dreams with good plots but then walking up while they're only partway through :(
"risc architecture is gonna change everything"
it's good to know this version doesn't work either
y'know, upon basically any reflection at all, it's pretty obvious what that dream meant
lots of nightmares (?) again today :(
with a theme of like, me treating people badly and then feeling bad about it?
what're u tryin to tell me, brain?
thinking about the "YOU BLEED" guy
i hope he's ok
just put my glasses lens in front of my phone camera to get it to focus on a qr code. the future is dumb.
anyway i think i'm slowly turning into a "you should strive to personally know the manufacturer of all the things you use" kind of person and uh supply chains are long and complicated
actually, it seems like both kinds probably give you cancer. so that's cool.
learning about how jute rope is manufactured and it turns out there are two different types of oil that are used: the type that give you cancer, and the type that smells like kerosene. yay!
weaving social fabric
maybe darning it?
tom7 is the this old tony of computers
today has really just been a rollercoaster of emotion, huh
i sorta like earthquakes tbh
literally all of the technology around me has been breaking way more than usual recently :(
most insidious part of twitter is how it completely destroyed being earnest tbh. really just almost singlehandedly irony-poisoned an entire generation
i love watching plants grow. coming back day after day, noticing the miniscule changes adding up over time.
pretty fucked up that it's 2022 tbh
i know i love triangle because it's the first place i went clubbing but i love it anyways
triangle is maybe the best club in the world
going to triangle because i fucking love bad decisions
lol literally seconds after i posted that they were like "just go" and waved multiple people through at the same time
my take is that they should make the mrt free after midnight on the new year
uh oh i have been infected with Twitter Brain
it may take me being very drunk to say this but: i am appreciative of tradition. fireworks and celebration are good.
(guess that's what i get for aiming for a reflective nye)
thinking about ████ again
if we met each other now, where would we end up?
gonna aim for a reflective nye, this time
really gotta figure out that whole replying to people in a timely manner thing :(
making old year's resolutions (plans for tomorrow)
people should make things in order to fall in love. there really isn't another reason.
i know it means a different thing here but it still always is jarring to see swastikas on random signs
extremely shook that parasite and snowpeircer were directed by the same person
like snowpeircer literally only went as far as "woah dude class systems exist isn't that crazy"
and parasite is really good
fuck maybe i should go to emf
today will be a writing day
had a nightmare where i was caught up in some scheme (as a fall guy afaict) that joe rogan was running to import cheap insulin to the us but also i had some sort of degenerative neurological condition which i was just finding out about (or maybe was in some loop where i kept finding out about it and then forgetting about it) and i gotta say it really checked a lot of the boxes of terrifying things
it's the 27th it's time to cut it out with the christmas music please thank you
"elsewhere" is such a good name for a place
pretty sure every place called elsewhere is excellent
5:19am, perfect time to start a large new project
cozying up alone tonight with some hot chocolate + hazelnut liquor. good to spend some time with myself after so much christmas partying :)
wow real stressful dreams today huh
all i want from life is to do a lot of drugs and watch videos of math people being excited about math
man drugs are fucking great
playing a drinking game that involves way too much thinking with champagne and it's bad decisions all around
i sorta knew that coming in but it's still funny now that i'm actually here
pretty sure everyone at this party is a lesbian except me lol
today's challenge: get drunk w/o spamming every passing thought to thoughts.page
gender is fake so rly everyone's queer some people just haven't realized it yet
the vibe has moved from ghostbusters theme to gucci gang
lmao this cafe is playing the ghostbusters theme for some reason????
it must be really nice to be able to live your life without constantly building a index in your head of who's a fascist and who isn't, huh
the queer christmas party that i'm going to at the leftist magazine space charges more for men than other people and it never ceases to amaze me the places where market-oriented solutions end up 🤔🤔🤔
the baby in this cafe really likes me
thought i was getting v3s easy on my second time back at the gym but turns out i just forgot the coloring and they're actually v2s 🙃
i really hope passenger travel on cargo ships comes back, that's the only way i feel like i could morally split time between taiwan and the us
god fucking damnit how did the l*sswr*ng people seo the asshole filter better than sidera did? :(((
re: name capitalization, i do think if i ever end up changing my name i'll go lowercase. just feels like the right thing.
nobody uses signal here and it makes me sad :(
(not even the expats)
breakfast sandwich rec: two slices of shokupan toasted in a pan with butter, some cheese melted on top (i've been using emmental but you can use whatever you like), kimchi, and an egg. delicious.
missed the train, looked at the countdown sign, 55 seconds to the next one
i love taiwan
ok tonight was great but i do just want to make sure i remember the absolutely incredible neg of some french guy saying that it was "so american" that i went to a bar alone
also, i miss you <3
clubbing is so good!
love the energy of lesbians dancing at triangle
the combination of languages that people are speaking here is heartwarming but also makes me feel so dumb
lmao i went to a bar and the first random person i met is in the same master's program as someone i accidentally ghosted like a year ago 🤐
potentially... going to go clubbing?
i really have too many opinions
noooooo the best crepe place in shida market closed :(((
the moon is excellent today
trying to figure out chinese internet slang makes me feel like such a boomer
clean clean clean clean clean clean!
in a big fuck silicon valley mood this evening
thinking about becoming a mommy blogger
ideas for a style guide for writing my name:
use the same capitalization you would for the beginning of a sentence
use the same capitalization as you use for your own name
(full name is always capitalized tho)
well, it's hitting me that i'm in taiwan
good to be back!
i may have gotten myself excited too early, though
getting out of quarantine!!! in 6.5 hours!!
downside: deep nose pcr test
upside: got to go outside, and it even smelled like rain!
i'm gonna get to go outside!
(just for like 5 mins but hey i'll take it)
maybe the most important requirement for dating someone is that they be good at breaking up
maybe i'm not as committed to this quarantine beard as i thought i was
aesthetically i hate minimalism but also i hate having stuff so uh
idk why i'm surprised that ao3 has 155 results for bdg/patrick gill
had a nightmare where i opened obsidian and it suddenly had a "messages" feature built in, and then i opened signal and it had a file-storage feature, and honestly that's pretty much what a lot of computer stuff feels like these days
begging anyone who uses the phrase "let a thousand flowers bloom" to read even a tiny bit of history
gonna be a real twist ending when "eugenics is bad" ends up being the take that gets me cancelled
god dammit i think i just trolled myself into writing the thing
love thinking of random puns and then typing dot tumblr dot com
always good stuff
thinking about putting sidenotes in my sidenotes. this is a bad plan that i will only resist for the moment because it is so technically difficult :|
love how the millennium tower looks like a bismuth crystal in the sunset
my life may be a mess but at least it's a hot mess
wow cute person swabbing my nose recognized me!
anyone who believes in "days of the week" is just being superstitious if u ask me
"this is not a great intellectual feat"
ppl r cute
did all the texting people! feeling very proud!
bad idea that i want someone to do: cvt bike
no, you don't understand, the tensile strength of the bubblegum is perfectly sufficient for this application
i used to think live resin edibles were placebo but lemme tell you having them again after the shitty east coast edibles sure cleared up that confusion
too much to read, never enough time
everyone is having an unusual day
the chances of me making this flight are extremely low
if i miss my flight because i went one stop too far on the train i will be Unhappy
i fucking love the g train and no one can take that from me
r train has some weird vibes
put on my socks before my pants, that's 無為 according to william burroughs
thinking a lot about pirates these days
funny that the downtown f train calls roosevelt island manhattan
toooooo many thoughts in my brain
it's honestly nice to interact with people in mono relationships sometimes since it's just so much clearer what the boundaries are
i love making out with my friends but sometimes it's simpler to just not have that on the table, y'know?
beat prose as linguistic brutalism?
maybe i should start a religion
love hanging out in tea shops so much
nostalgic early morning smell
just realized that if i want a summer break that means i need to spend the winter working...
i guess i can do that
thinking about vegan directors not shooting on film because it's gelatin based
i am also wary
realizing that sending people messages on the internet is probably one of the highest activation energy things i can do
should probably try to fix that
plans filling in, nice feeling :)
time marches forward
pack for leaving so i'm not super rushed and stressed tomorrow, or spend all day implementing pkcs1.5 rsa padding oracle attack?
my calves are prepared for hiking but not for dancing apparently
so sore today
drunk: REALLY GOOD
have not been this drunk in a while and it is really excellent!!!
i Do Not need another blog
my life feels well paced
someone wrote today that i "have lots of feelings about kind of obscure things" and i'm feeling simultaneously attacked and seen
hike was extremely good. didn't even die!
going on a very dumb hike today. if i don't return, know that i died doing what i loved: making bad decisions
is compassion the opposite of shame?
thinking about how legibility politics relates to dating
cursed to have Opinions
it's a shame that "cucked" has racist/patriarchal/alt-right connotations since it's such a perfect word to describe the united states
it's weird to be excited to be back in sf
people really think they can be anti-capitalist and pro-therapy, huh
it would be nice to date someone who isn't enamored by my bullshit
really appreciating how the two main kitchen drawers here are labeled "silly bullshit" and "useful tools"
now that's a good taxonomy
i think the pandemic broke my voice-recognizing ability?
first ever shower beer today. good shit
makin tools like a fuckin octopus or some shit
time 2 go open the feels jar
i forgot how good noodling around on a electric keyboard is! it's really good!
being drunk is good! i should really do that more
solutions beget problems
been feeling really young these days
brain feels sluggish
seems incredibly hard to work in data analysis and not turn into a nihilist
i have so many cute comfy clothes that aren't with me :(
boy i really don't understand how anything works
brisk is a good word
lol @ okc matching me with a bunch of people in sf while i'm in the forest in ny
bit late for that
nature is so good
i really should make a alt thoughts.page but that's still ridiculous
wow people are good!!! very excited to be hanging out with lots of good ones <3
on amtrak again!!! going upstate!!!
update: my stuff does not all fit in my suitcase :|
one funny thing about journaling consistently is that i'm realizing how much of what i do each day i forget by the end of the day
(i guess i knew that from checkins as well but that doesn't really count i don't think)
oh wait i know why it's because i saved all my packing to the morning that i left 🙃
current mood: augh why the fuck did i bring so much crap to nyc and how will i get it all to fit back in my suitcase???
cut my nails super short so i'll actually be able to type again :/
want more wesley parasocial interaction? u should check out my are.na and pretend like i'm texting u those things
very stressed out for a very dumb reason
noticing my self-destructive tendencies so i can lean into them
for a movie that's so mediocre in general the drone hacking scene in interstellar is so good
i wonder if there are any good cooperative hidden role games
being a number theorist just seems so emotionally draining
wintermelon is so tasty
really feels like it's impossible for people to talk to each other anymore
posting cringe is good
uh oh i'm turning into an audiophile 😬
so many wedding photoshoots happening today
ok so this is cringe af but i should really write that thing about megatokyo and kpop as an example of a thing where people's unfounded fears about what the government might do are actually realized by the private sector
got distracted by books, but NOW it's time to get high
time to go get high in the park 🙂
who wants to join a group chat where everyone just posts spoonerisms of random phrases
still in love with the fact that din tai fung has a neocities website with information about all their art
taking the acela!
visiting all my old memories
hate it when the books at the bookstore are in shrinkwrap :(
wish i was worse at noticing ideologies
aesthetic is maybe the only thing that matters in life
trying to journal again. we'll see if it sticks.
was gonna eat meat for the first time in like four months but the line at prince st pizza was just too gd long
once again thinking about becoming a hermit
chopsticks are underrated
when i see a labyrinth i have to walk it
that's the rules
i love giving people directions
i really want dry shampoo to work but i'm like 80% sure it's a scam
feeling very satisfied recognizing a lil mandarin in the bubble tea shop today
another random stranger asked me if i'm jewish today, i never really know how to respond
there are too many bugs in prospect park
today's watching while high experience: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKiBtsHWWEU
it's easier to love people when you don't know them
very impressed with my friend who ended up finding an apartment via tinder hookup
feeling melancholy about thoughts.page getting posted to hacker news
happy to have more people
sad that they're so many tech people
i want the internet to be more nonsense and feelings and art, and less tech
nyc is good
now it's MY TURN to go on a date in dolo and make a bunch of fun quotes for people to hear out of context
god my life is such a mess
i can appreciate the self loathing of someone who says they work on "merkle trees" instead of blockchain tbh
like, yeah bro we all get what you're saying but i'm glad you at least realize you should be ashamed of it
til that my thoughts are "not worth reading"
iso someone who thinks about things in a beautiful way
tried to read poetry as scifi, that was a mistake
thinkin about microdosing estradiol
that sleep paralysis feeling so nice going into it
i get the weirdest emails
wtf how did i not realize that the word subliminal comes from liminal?
once again mad about The Apps
i smell like campfire now
OH: "…astral projection" — "in the hospital we call that a dissociative episode"
how are there only four times on twitter anyone's said "whatever-this-is-pilled"????
my "do not trust information that comes from eugenicists" rule looking more and more reasonable every day
once again mad about how beautiful Carmen Maria Machado's writing is
made the Forbidden Oatmeal today (oatmeal made with oat milk)
i think it's time to go be hot in nyc
the wikihow aesthetic is incredible
person at the bubble tea shop told me she was "concerned about me" just because i ordered extra boba AND cheese foam :(((
god youtube self-driving car propaganda is so awful
wow didn't realize sqlite3 was in the python stdlib, that rules
everything is going to be ok
mdma is real good
TODO: make thoughts.page better for drunk ppl
douglas hofstadter would fuckin love ratatouille
i literally always forget how good being drunk is
wow it turns out kareoke is actually good???? amazing
maybe i should get a walkman
i fukin hate spotify
real walls closing in around me feels rn huh
that's probably a good sign but also i'm just... extremely not used to it
wow felt more awkward today than i have in a LONG time
aaaaaaaaaaaa got a bajillion things happening at once
why are phlebotomists always so cute?? unfair
wow i love it when people ask for what they want 🥰
tried to blow vape smoke out my window but it blew right back into my face instead :(
always good when you google the ingredients and the first result is pubchem
really annoying when people say that a tax credit is literally giving people money :/ those are different things!
the new youtube clip feature is basically all the bad parts of xanadu
thinking about how to structure my life more deliberately.
i feel like maybe summer break is important?
ugh people write so well
augh i can be real garbage sometimes
outside is Good
the 2°C IPCC thing must really be confused by americans not understanding what celsius is, huh
really annoying how siderea keeps being right
pretty sure figuring out how to shower is one of the main blockers for living a fulfilling life for me
thinking about making an alt thoughts.page but that's ridiculous
perfecting the listicle form
apparently we've reached the point in hot vaxxed summer where all anyone in my social circles is thinking about is kink stuff
they should do a baking show where the contestants and judges are all high
honestly fucked up how nice being drunk feels
dark and stormy with squirt instead of ginger beer: better than i expected
i knew that before but i forgot
wow tying people up is fun
we need language to talk about bounded vs non-bounded spectrums
damn they really put all the bangers at the end of Vessel huh
if nothing else, the collapse of the american empire will really simplify my international tax situation
carmen maria machado is so good
i want every flavor of tea :(
OH: "i wanna post on instagram and not give a fuck"
i made a thing that i'm super happy with but will also 100% get me sued if i share it widely and i'm real sad about it
"executive function" is a funny name for it 'cause actual executives have assistants to deal with all thta
markets are incompatible with freedom
luv 2 b stressed
if u don't think ur problems can't see u
i wanna be a hagfish and tie my body in a knot to scratch all my itches at once
fuck i miss new york
so many books, so little time
pretty fucked up that i only got taught about the kkk as a thing that happened in the past when like... it's still around today
The tradition of all dead generations weighs like a nightmare on the brains of the living.
a song is a type of idea
drugs r good
a little salmonella, as a treat
it seems vitally important that i resist the urge to open a bookstore
pandemic nostalgia is gonna be a hell of a thing
i guess succubi probably can't help it
upside down kisses are optimal
just saw someone in a incredibly aesthetic goth getup sitting with & talking frustratedly with a normie dude who i very much hope is getting dumped tonight
why is mulled wine only a christmas/new year thing? it's so good
spreadsheets are peak computer
this cafe is playing real hype up music for 11:30am
in the land of tiny $18 zines
made out with a stranger!!!
ok so i know this is Problematic but when is bill wurtz gonna come out?
vegan gummies have merits
"it's ridiculous in there" — evy on my brain
best buy's ontology is so fucked up
consensus but if you disagree take it to sortition: the perfect decisionmaking structure
san francisco is such a garbage city traffic design wise
like cmon no one is having a good time here
augh fuckin ssl certs
someone needs to make a code review tool that's actually good and also integrates with github
the thing about inventing a guy is that like 80% of the time he exists
i don't know why 4 hour youtube videos are suddenly a thing, but i Don't Like It.
a meme is when something doesn't make sense
computer bad phone bad
stepped in front of a car on purpose since i thought it was self driving but it turns out it was actually just a dude in a SUV with some shit strapped to the roof rack and now i feel bad
pretty sure i'm turning boring
had a bunch of caffeine and no food mrah
parks are so good
anthropogenically introduced species as xrisk?
打麻雀运动 shows significant negative impacts even without introducing new species, once a foreign species is introduced that creates a feedback loop that can be impossible to stop
monocropping is a significant source of tail risk here
do people still worry about locusts? why or why not?
don't you think it matters when we wish our friends the best?
why haven't they made another bisexual season of are you the one? ridiculous.
some friends of mine moved to my neighborhood recently, and i just ran into one of them at a cafe and it feels so nice! having local friends is real good :)
thinking about becoming a reply guy
if you water a plant with tea, is that cannibalism?
cleaned my bathroom! ✨
contrarian take: the weather is a excellent topic of conversation
thinking about masculinity and domesticity
gotta make some aliases
thinking about trying to be a famous youtube commenter
overhearing conversations on the train is so much fun
getting used to the rhythms of taipei
i should really launch thoughts.page for real, but it's scary :|
i am DOING an ERRAND!
put my brain in a weird state again
dongmen is so cozy
i wanna send songs back and forth with someone
home is where you host your servers
regarding my previous thought, i would like to clarify that scientists are fundamentally hot.
i wanna date a hot scientist
theater like a play, or theater like a war?
i have three chat apps installed with green icons and that is Too Many
timezones are such a nightmare
two tone sirens are so good
the cafe that’s open to midnight was closed, so i found one that’s open until 4am instead 😮
unreasonably happy today tbh
what’s the opposite of forever?
i think the people next to me in this restaurant are on a date and it’s very cute :)
i’m not hungry but i want to eat
beautiful weather today
can i still talk to normal people? tune in for the exciting conclusion!
a thing can have more than one cause
h y p e r
new life goal:
disappear from the internet
cops if your quick
my sinuses were clogged for like 5 minutes after i woke up from a nap and it’s actually so good, i get to ride the high of the feeling of my sinuses NOT being clogged for hours afterwards
thinking about corduroy bedsheets
the nice part about having a tiny apartment is that it’s super easy to clean
languages are so interesting!
i am easily enticed by dictionaries
the freaky thing about potato chips in taiwan is they taste exactly like the picture on the package
thinking about how i say “new york” when people ask me where i’m from.
golden gate park is the ideal park imo
honestly fucked up the number of people’s voices i recognize
i would like to understand LA
was feeling bad for a while, but i think i’m starting to feel better now. things are good.
honestly unfair that you can’t just take one big shower every week and just keep being clean
oh no mosquito bite on the sole of my foot :(((
making a spreadsheet, hell yeah
dns-blocked a bunch of the bad attention sucking websites on my computer, and disabled the apps on my phone. feels nice, although idk how long i’ll be able to make it last.
bring back http basic auth
all money is free money
i just really love networks
thinking about the metrocard aardvark
v i b i n g
love 2 feel bad
one of the few things i miss from america are the enormous cups
excited to get a new taipei city library card! they have a 24-hour lounge/study area apparently, super excited to check it out!
mao zedong thot
mushrooms are nice because they’re both philosophically pleasing and delicious
really loving how many japanese-style bakeries there are in taiwan. and taiyaki from street stands, yum :)
my new umbrella has a light blue underside, as though i should pretend the skies aren’t grey.
who is supporting who?
til that there isn’t a landmass at the north pole? i thought there was, no idea how that got into my head.
started closing on an apartment wow!
wow it feels so bizzare and good to be in a coffeeshop
a text adventure game but all of the items are described in the style of Amazon product names
currently flirting with someone on a dating app exclusively by sending gifs back and forth and it is StReSsFuL
wow big earthquake tonight. biggest i’ve ever felt, even growing up in cali
about to go outside for the fisrt time in two weeks hooray!
just under 24 hours until i can leave my hotel room 😮
thinking about how to build spaces for thinking together
slowly orbiting around something good
i am a dumb
i would really like to go outside
ooof stayin up tooo laaattteee
thinking about whether an indie dating site is possible. i used to think it wasn’t, but i’m leaning the other way now. just gotta shift around what your goals are.
hot take: complaining about art is inherently a category of art
love 2 shave those yaks
i cut my fingernails too short and now typing feels weird :(
it’s weird that the clouds look the same in taipei as they do in san francisco
getting really excited to be working on making a better world
heading to taipei. feels weird.
clouds are pretty
in the liminal space of moving. i do not like it.
fondly remembering taking the bus up to manchester, NH, having a stranger recognize me by my tshirt, and going to red arrow diner with them
saw a flock of around 100 crows envelop the top of salesforce tower today
my phone screen got cracked and i have no idea how it happened :(
idea for a game: a RPG mimicking real life, where you play as a random person, your starting location/profession/social standing drawn out of a distribution reflecting that of all humans on earth.
i have a new mole on my neck and it is Annoying
i had so much caffeine and i’m still tired -.-
i got caught out in the rain for the first time this season. i love california’s version of cold weather — not cold enough to be really miserable, but just enough to make coming inside after a long walk feel really cozy. it’s nostalgic as well, which makes it doubly cozy.
got some rollerblades. went two miles, only fell on my ass twice, pretty good imo.
i had a bunch of caffeine today and it’s extremely good
interesting that bubble tea has the reverse of a normal heat gradient — the hot boba is at the bottom, while the ice floats to the top.
thinking about the process of commodification
feeling really good; fighting to make sure it stays that way while i have the energy
considering becoming the sort of person who uses my custom spaced repetition system to remind me to shower
i’m always surprised when physically large things aren’t extremely expensive
it’s sorta fun how i made this thoughts page right after covid started happening, like a little diary of my isolation time
thinking about “how do you know if someone is a vegan? they’ll tell you” as one of the most blindingly obvious and annoying examples of sampling bias
do i remember who i am? does anyone? we’re all mirrors, in one way or another.
this covid shit really sucks
gonna start calling cinnamon rolls bread rollups
“are you morally obligated to feel X” is such a bizarre question
hmm i wonder why i feel bad it couldn’t possibly be that i had a bunch of caffeine and barely any food today
thinking about how good the TMBG wiki is
trying to think of a definition of a state that categorizes the united states government as a state, but doesn’t categorize google or the NRA as a state, and also is coherent with typical libertarian arguments about private organizations being more effective than states
kcal/hectare-day is such a strange unit
man it seems like there’s rat drama happening and i sort of want to know what’s going on but also really don’t
i’m pretty sure that the concept of eggs going bad is fake
aw man the usps site is down :(
well today is just the most completely detached from reality day yet, thats cool
managed to put my brain in an extremely weird state
i definitly have a twitter crush and this seems bad but i’m just gonna lean into it
my new and Extremely Good music organization system is just keeping a bunch of bandcamp and youtube tabs that people have sent me in a browser tab and randomly ruffling through it whenever i want to listen to something
cleaning the fridge has a really great effort/reward tradeoff
considering advocating for a new all-ice-cream diet
my perception of time, on a micro scale, is completely fucked up. not sure if this is new or not.
i made a bunch of cornbread but then i ate it all and now i don’t have any more and i’m sad
wow boba guys in hayes valley is just straight up not very good? i miss gong cha :(
thinking about explicitly being vegetarian (sans gelatin, rennet, and maybe some fish-based sauces, probably)
pretty fucked up that san francisco is like… 50 square miles
family-owned businesses are just nepotism with a positive connotation
oh i guess i should update the timezone for thoughts! now in pacific time :)
not having a microwave is really annoying. microwaves must’ve been an absolute gamechanger for leftovers.
thinking about how taking your own advice can often be a bad idea — it’s easy to have advice that’s very useful for most people, but the reason you have that advice is because you implement it too much in an extreme. being extreme about it allows you to see very clearly the effects of the advice, but it can often have negative effects that implementing a less extreme version wouldn’t have.
TIL that “peewee” is an official egg size according to the USDA
spending a bunch of money on cooking supplies and realizing that it comes out to the same as like… 2 weeks of getting delivery every day
i really want my bike to arrive in SF :(
i guess they still do happen? but it seems like they aren’t what they once were.
i wish world fairs were still a thing
2020 is folding my laundry for the month and only finding four pairs of socks
youtube drama channels are tabloids for zoomers and honestly i love it
i want reaction videos to the big tech congressional hearing to be a thing
hyped for the 2020 census results tbh
contemplating the symbolism of cleaning your glasses
fucking love it when i get to use nyquist sampling theorem tbh
a moth just kissed my head
thinking a lot about games that give you a real choice in actions, but manage to invert the moral polarity of the actions that you’ve taken by withholding/showing given bits of information later. can this be done well in a way where there is truly no canonically “true” interpretation, where all information is mistrusted? it seems hard, we have a bias towards believing information that is revealed later in stories over information that is revealed at the beginning. maybe subverting that by having a cliche twist reveal, then having a second reveal that makes the first one clearly false would communicate a similar idea?
not really, though. i want to communicate that any action could be morally correct given the right viewpoint, making all options unsatisfying.
maybe that’s a bit mean, though.
i listened in
yes i’m guilty of this, you should know this
i broke down and wrote you back before you had a chance to
i am moving past this, giving notice
i have to go
yes i know the feeling, know you’re leaving
honestly amazed at the sheer number of different ways that minecraft villagers manage to be problematic
there is one good scene in Interstellar (2014) like 15 minutes in when they chase the drone in their car and hack it, and the entire movie is downhill from there. but that scene is so good.
hair dryer reviews are funny because the best-case scenario is there are 50 reviews that are like “this is great” and like three that are like “two stars: best hair dryer i’ve ever use, but after two months of use it started an electrical fire and burned down my entire house”
tbh, it’s astonishing to me that kanye is only polling at 2%
making funny noises at someone back and forth is basically like having sex
apparently custom ASMR videos where the person says your name is a thing and i looked one up that has my name and it feels Extremely Weird
i discovered that you can change out the nosepads on glasses for nicer ones and this is absolutely lifechanging
reading a bunch of democratic party bylaws today, it’s fucking committees all the way down
you know you’ve fucked up when you start thinking about writing an open letter…
i came up with a really good tweet but it’s about a thing that happened like 3 years ago so i can’t tweet it :(
thoughts got a glow-up :)
been having so many dreams-within-dreams recently. wonder what’s up with that.
i’ve been running a
git checkout for the past 5 hours…
“research” vs “exploration”
different things, easy to confuse.
i’m becoming a person who cares about typography and it’s terrible
tbh it’s pretty unfair that docs only look queer on women
massive spike in “what the hell am i doing with my life everything is a terrible decision” recently. do not recommend.
i’m reading a bunch of studies on tool use in animals and it’s really great when they mention that a particular animal doesn’t appear to take into account some property of a tool when trying to determine which tool to use and then they also just casually mention at the very end that humans also fail the same test
“knowledge worker” but “knowledge criminal” instead
there have been an alarming number of bugs in my house recently
thinking about how the “nyc is digging mass graves because of the number of deaths from coronavirus” news cycle was like two days then everybody stopped talking about it
nothing quite like looking at housing in san francisco to remind you what an absolute nightmare world we live in
a little annoyed at how hard it is to build a singlethreaded web server in rust
we’ve got a long way to go with this whole computer thing
auuuughhh why the hell did i decide to listen to this clubhouse audio
i biked 38 miles today.
upper manhattan is very pretty.
til my daily bike ride is 6 miles. that’s a lot longer than i thought!
i bought 7 tshirts online (all the same shirt from the same store) and they shipped them as one order of one shirt and one order of 6 shirts, scheduled to arrive on the same day.
i’m gonna see a friend in person for the first time in many months! very exciting.
wow, i just feel really bad. that’s cool.
really got a lot of whiplash from being prepared for a nice chill social hangout and instead getting several hours of stressful work
feeling lonely and running through my list of people to call, each one an even worse idea than the previous
also, SSC is definitely one of those acronyms that has multiple very different meanings :p
i’m really amused by the SSC discourse, but really should not comment on it…
why on earth do i ever answer my phone, it’s never something good
i want to go for a nightime bike ride but my bike lights don’t arrive for another two days :(
face mask selfies are cute, tbh
bikes are so good
something i miss dearly about going to physical grocery stores is being able to select my avocados so that they’ll ripen one after the other, and i’ll always have an avocado that’s just the right amount of ripe.
thinking about the aesthetics of privacy of your image/voice vs data - cameras and microphones are viscerally creepy, other forms of data collection aren’t. does it make sense to weight the things that are visceral as highly as we do? i can see how it would, but it’s hard to think about.
the problem with living in NYC is that any impulse purchase i want to make can be justified with “well, it’s only N weeks of rent”
increasingly looking like NYC had a ""“competent”"" coronavirus response compared to everywhere else in the US which is just fucking horrifying
i really do not get how Matthew Yglesias became a thing
so apparently all of the not feeling anything for the past three months was just saving it all up for today
tbh really not looking forward to anarchism suddenly being in vogue
i am not smart
well it’s nice to remember what working hard is like. been a solid like 3 years since i’ve done this.
ahhh, the “lay around naked until i finally get around to getting an air conditioner” part of the summer
i just wanna make out with my friends again
ramekin is a pretty fucked up word. that’s all.
my beard is long enough that i can stick a comb in it and it just sits there
i love that “zoomer” is unironically a thing now
luv 2 see notifications that my friends are on signal. fuck em up.
took a walk through downtown brooklyn today. surprised at how normal everything feels.
ugh, my bike got stolen :(
i hope whoever took it needs it more, but also just ugh, this means i’m going to need to wait a lot longer before i can bike again :( :(
i don’t know if what i’m doing is helping, but at least it’s something.
feeling hopeful for the first time in a while
well, seems like no more 2am walks for a little while
the way that youtube sponsorships have destroyed the concept of having a conclusion in a lot of video essays is really sad to me
i’m really, really tired, and i don’t know why. have a few hypothesises but really not looking forward to having to go figure out wtf my body is doing.
i found out a very funny thing today but i can’t share it anywhere :(
i think the way to fix twitter is to just immediately and permanently ban anyone with more than 1k followers
i feel like the ""“patronage”"" model is pretty fucked up in a ton of ways, but also it seems reasonable to work in the system that exists? idk
thinking about just paying some writers i like to write things and making a little book/magazine of it? i think that this is not actually very expensive for a tech person to do, i sort of wonder why there isn’t more of this.
my bike shipped! super excited :)
i really wish lobste.rs was better than it is
taking a vitamin d pill at night feels wrong, because vitamin d is sunlight and it’s dark outside and i should be sleeping
when will google let me give them money to just never see the recommended youtube videos
huh, did a double take seeing a “log in with TikTok” button for the first time today
my bag of sour patch kids had a piece of licorice in it by accident, and licorice covered with citric acid is actually pretty tasty
my pile of books is somewhat overwhelming
luckily two decades of toxic masculinity has made burying my feelings instead of talking about them pretty easy, so i’ve got that going for me
so it turns out that all the people who i can call up when i’m sad go to bed at fuckin 8pm
haven’t slept which definitely means it’s time for caffeine
i cleaned my glasses for the first time in months and it was a truly magical experience
https://www.sheldonbrown.com/ is so good
the distinction between knowing what you’re getting yourself into and realizing what you’re getting yourself into is underappreciated
way too tempted to just write my own rust web framework
using comparisons to cars when talking about risks should be banned
everybody complains that lisp has too many parens, but then they freak out when you go full RPN
starting to think that telling people to only pay attention to reputable sources has resulted in people turning their brains off when they are reading things on reputable sources.
reputable sources can be (and in fact, often are) wrong!
i want to socialize more but i’m so tired
ugh i’m so tired
https://hanabi.site is online :)
i used the word “extant” in a sentence that wasn’t contrived and i feel very fancy
starting to think that the web has reached two local maxima during its entire existence: GeoCities, and jQuery.
oops i forgot to sleep :(
i want to make a webring
i’m really glad that i decided to do NGW things
amazed at how long the “a little X, as a treat” meme has stuck around
random 2am thoughts:
the utility that i get from a book is not reduced by a book having factually incorrect information, so when i review a book for other people, factually incorrect information only is bad if it paints a story i don’t like. this seems ok to me.
things in the US seem like they could get very bad very quickly? i think when considering bad outcomes in the US i’ve been overestimating the likelihood of economic collapse (still very likely), and underestimating the likelihood of other bad things, which are less globally correlated than economic collapse.
legibility politics is something that i want to think about a lot more. there seem like there are really fundamental connections here with language and power and other things that i’ve spent a lot of time thinking about.
hmmmmm is it time to retreat from all human contact again?
food should cost a lot more than it does
ok i gueeessss i maybe have a couple crushes on internet people? imo that doesn’t really count though.
it’s international tell your crush day and somehow i don’t think i have any crushes right now? i blame the pandemic :(
disappointed that you technically can’t send an A3 zine through the mail as a postcard (it’s too thick, so it counts as a letter)
TIL that “Mailpiece Design Analyst” is a job
ok it was too weird i changed back
wearing a different pair of clothes than i usually do for the first time in more than two months. feels weird.
weird feeling when someone meets me and my brother (separately) and their first question is “so, uh, what was your upbringing like?”
adding a book to my reading list just because the title has been stuck in my head since it first came out a year ago
fuck i miss climbing
aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh it’s finally reading outside in the hammock weather
(probably has been for a while, and i just hadn’t noticed since i’m not going out during the daytime)
pretty convinced that “minimalist” software just means software that’s written by an asshole
prediction: in ~50 years, starlink smears and similar formations will be a thing that people appreciate and think looks good - it’ll follow an arc similar to debates about the Eiffel Tower.
(this doesn’t mean that starlink is good btw, it’s bad because centralizing communications infrastructure is bad, and people’s aesthetic concerns are also valid. but aesthetic concerns will change over time, and once people are used to seeing smears like starlink, that will become part of “natural beauty”)
i should maybe think a bit more about how much i optimize to maximize other peoples yearning for me…
Right Round The Clock is the song, i was getting it confused for Mad World, which it references:
> I’m feeling kinda crazy, I’m feeling kinda mad
> The dreams in which we’re famous are the best I’ve ever had
> I’m feeling kinda crazy, I’m feeling kinda mad
> The dreams in which we’re famous are the best I’ve ever had
> You’re the best I’ve ever had
> You’re the best I’ve ever had
ah i found the song! it wasn’t actually a remix it just has lyrics that conflict with a much more famous song
fuck a song that i have stuck in my head from some youtube rabbit hole weeks ago was apparently a remix so i can’t find it by searching the lyrics and now i’ll probably never find it again :(
it’s gonna be funny to go to the climbing gym when this is all over and just watch everybody be complete trash at climbing
i like writing code, but i don’t like having code
thinking about getting really into parsers
hmmm i just emailed a @gmail.com address that i haven’t interacted with before with the word “sex” in the title and a link as part of the body text, what are the chances that they’re ever going to see my message…
huh, i just now realized that the reason that i always mix up it’s and its for possessives is because you use an apostrophe to indicate that a name is possessive, but that’s more of a special case than anything.
remembering when someone found a bug in some code i wrote when i was at google, but was like “i don’t think the bug could be here, this file is copyright google so it’s probably right”
thinking about running a rss-only blog
because of course i need more places to write things…
you know that programming advice is good when you have to scroll the wayback machine all the way back to 2001 to see it
APIC and ACPI being entirely different things which interact with each other in subtle and annoying ways is some strong chaotic evil energy
the web is bad
wasm is magical
does my version of thoughts support linebreaks?
i figured out how to make my hair be straightthis is a gamechanger
huh, i didn’t realize that Notes on the Synthesis of Form and A Pattern Language were by the same person
i want a “calendar”, but instead of being a calendar it’s a constraint solver/optimizer that i can feed arbitrary constraints into (both binary, like “i need to visit this store, which is open at these times” and scalar, like “i want to assign X weight to getting my quota of exercise in”). then the calendar part is that it also speaks ical so it can know about less flexible events and show everything in one place.
i guess one change in my politics in the past ~4 years is that i think i basically support a californian independence movement at this point (and if it includes cascadia, even better)
i don’t check twitter for one day and my housemate offhandedly mentions the Six State Council coming together to form their own govenrment. i ask if the nation-state of California is part of it, but no, they’re part of the separate “West Coast Pact”reality is a bad sci-fi novel, but hey, at least i’ll get to see the collapse of the american empire within my life ¯_(ツ)_/¯
strongly considering becoming anti-floating-point
starting to think that a lot of liberals really hate the idea of trump, but not like, any specific thing that he’s done
my crappy but convenient earbuds broke, so now i’m using my nice but sort of annoying headphones, and wow does everything sound so much nicer
ugh i got up at 11am for a thing but it turns out it’s at 1pm
starting to get a little annoyed at my sleep schedule - it sucks to wake up and have no idea what time it is.
there’s something special about writing a proxy - at first, it just works and is completely magical, and then you can start dipping your toes into the stream of bits going past, mucking with things here and there and seeing what changes, slowly understanding the structure of the protocol going past you. it’s a good way to understand a system.
fuck how is it 4am already
ok i wrote my own varint parser, that wasn’t that hard
gotta love finding a library that “parses varints,” does not specify what type of varint it parses, and lists as example applications, three different protocols which all use slightly different varint specifications…
slowly coming to terms with the fact that i am bad at writing computer programs
started watching the most recent Well There’s Your Problem, and getting really frustrated at how bad leftists can be at… not being wrong about things. there’s this whole generation of Chapo Trap House/Mike Gravel/Well There’s Your Problem style leftism that seems to be pretty effective drawing people in, but does so by just lying and/or not bothering to research anything and just assuming all facts line up with their worldview, and it’s just really frustrating to me :/you don’t need to make shit up to convince people of leftist ideas, the truth works well enough for that.
having lots of thoughts about how credentialism relates to the current covid-19 situation. i still don’t believe in credentialism, but i do believe that it doesn’t make sense to trust inexperienced people. it’s hard to communicate that distinction, though, especially given the nebulousness of what counts as “experience”i think it’s somehow tied in my mind to the sre org at goog, and how that was so full of people who had taken weird paths to get where they ended up, and were really great at their jobs because of it. i’m sad that that’s not something we see in other fields much, especially given the value that i think there is in applying the sre skillset to other domains.
uh, it’s a little strange that that didn’t prompt for my password, but ok….
if this works, then it means that the integration with my password manager worked :o
i can write thoughts from vim! that’s cool :)
testing writing text in a file!